The good and bad of life

Well, life has changed significantly since I announced my pregnancy back in October. First came the bad... the assholes that I have worked for for the past eleven years cut my hours again only to end up terminating my position completely and canceling my insurance a mere two weeks before me giving birth. Can we say gratitude? I can't say that any of their actions surprised me, but I will admit that I was hoping they'd have done the "right thing" by me and helped me through the maternity leave. Instead I got a separation notice and not quite a month's pay.

And as if that wasn't bad enough on its own, R hasn't worked since the beginning of May. He's a union ironworker and there are just no jobs to go to right now. He's called every morning to the hall hoping for something to put his name in for, but it's dead. He's drawing unemployment, but it's only enough to pay his personal bills and nothing really towards the household expenses or groceries. I went and applied for unemployment myself, but don't really qualify to receive it until I can actively seek work... translation, until my maternity leave is up, I get nothing.

And the icing on the cake for the bad came this past Wednesday when R and I went down to file for food stamps. Yes, we are in that position to ask for serious help. Like I said before, his unemployment doesn't really pay anything and I'm not drawing anything right now. You'd think that it would be a no-brainer and that we'd be approved no problems. Well, I was wrong. We walked out of there with our pride swallowed and no help at all. For whatever reason, we didn't qualify for any assistance at all. NOTHING! Can you freakin' believe that?!? I was amazed at how they figure we can make ends meet when the only income we have right now is A$277 per week and the mortgage alone is $615, not to mention we have utilities, car note and diapers to buy. My last hope is that we will be approved for WIC and that it will cover the formula for "Bug".

But it isn't all bad either. I figure God is testing me and my faith and that everything will be fine in the long run. I have a beautiful baby boy to love and an amazing little girl who loves me regardless of our bank account balance. Lucian was born on June 16th at 1:42 am after 16 hours of active labor and a last minute C-Section. I was wiped out completely by the time he made it into this world, but he was/is worth every second of discomfort and pain. He's my last unless God has a hand in it, and I'm enjoying being a "new mom" again. The only issue that I'm having with him is that his paternal grandmother is insistant on calling him by a nickname of his middle name. I'm trying to keep the peace about it, but it irks the piss out of me!

Tuesday will be two weeks since I had Lucian and I will be released to drive on my own again. That's when I will be pounding the pavement looking for a new job. I know they say to wait six weeks until you do anything, but I don't have that luxury right now. We are in a bad way and I have to find something soon. To be honest, it may come down to me finding a couple of jobs to make ends meet until Russell goes back to work. We are hanging on by a thread and it scares the hell out of me. I've never been in such a bleak situation and I'm hoping to overcome the obstacles and find a "peace" in the near future. Please keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers.

I think that about covers everything right now. I'll be back soon to let you all know how things are going. Now to go play with my baby :)