Shocking as it may sound, I had a great day today! I didn't allow any negativity into my mind and it felt good. My husband and daughter left this morning for a daddy/daughter camping trip. I think it's a great thing for them to spend some quality time together. She's fortunate to have a great step-dad who loves her like completely. I would have given anything to have had that, even in small doses, through my childhood. Since I didn't, I know the value of it and it makes me happy.
As for me and the youngest... we had a "date". It started out simple enough with a stop at the pet store for some guinea pig food. We left there and had a late lunch of Chinese food with no one to complain that "we always have Chinese". Played for a few hours at the kids' arcade place and then stopped for a sweet at Dunkin'. It was nothing expensive or fancy, but it was great! We played and took our time doing our thing without the older one getting frustrated or the dad noticing all the things we could do differently.
I know that sounds like I'm pushing the blame on the ones that weren't with us, but it seemed a lot calmer just the two of us. I know the deal though. The twelve year old doesn't recall being a six and finds everything totally annoying. Instead of asking quietly or politely for him to stop whatever behavior is on her nerves, she sees to it that everyone can hear her side and that causes all kinds of problems. At that point, Dad usually steps in and screams at the six year old and follows every movement like a hawk from that point on. Today, it was different... I know what it's like being the youngest and I don't wish to fight over every small thing that doesn't really amount to anything.
Yeah, it was good. I had the one someone with me that never sees me as anything else than the best mom ever and I liked it. Now, don't get me wrong, I know my daughter loves me and that my husband is mine, but it doesn't mean that they don't make me feel bad sometimes. Truthfully, they make me feel unappreciated on a regular basis, so the break this weekend from that will be a nice change of pace for me. I think I need the break; mentally, emotionally and physically. Just in time too because next week will put me to the test again.
My mother will be going back into the hospital again. This will be the seventeenth surgery on her legs for blood clots. They are having to do the grafting from cadaver veins because hers have been completely used up. I am concerned that we are getting to the end of our rope for "fixing" these issues. Thankfully she has had the brilliance of her vascular surgeon. (Sometimes the miracle isn't a healing, but who God puts in front of you!) Anyway, the true stress comes from figuring out what to do with my kiddos. She's the only someone I have to take them to and get them from school. Both suffer from horrible bus sickness (all the bouncing and stopping kills them). I leave at 5:30 am and don't get back home until 6 pm. They could go to after school, but if I don't have them picked up by 6 pm then they call DFACS on me. If I hit traffic of any kind I won't make it. It causes stress like you wouldn't believe because I don't work for a company that really cares or understands about things like this, so it gets ugly real fast.
Oh well, I'll worry about that tomorrow. Today has been good and I want to relish in that for a while. Life is good when the eyes of a six year old are shining and it's all because of a little time :D